Saturday, March 17, 2012

The groom and the bride stand at the altarhim in his finest suit, her in a beautiful chiffon gown. With dreamy eyes, they promise to love and to hold one another, through sickness and health, for better or worse, till death to them part. The priest p

So ends another fairytale wedding. Fast forward years later and the same couple wonders what happened to their fairytale. Most couples, whether they admit or not, have experienced the above scenario at some point in their marriage. Caught in the whirl of wedding preparations, they fail to see beyond the frills of the Big Day. When the novelty of being married finally rubs off and reality kicks in, they discover that marriage is not all bliss. As divorce rates continue to escalate worldwide, one can not help but wonder why so many fairytale weddings have sad endings. What common marital problems undermine a marriage and can lead to its early demise? One universal marital complaint is boredomwith ones own spouse.

When two people first get together, the mystery they each exude fuels everything they do. They engage in stimulating activities in the hopes of getting to know the other better. Every quirk fascinates; differences are celebrated. But, as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt and nothing breeds familiarity more than marriage. Living with the same person for a long time dispels the mystery and before long, the quirks cease to amuse and the differences start to irritate. With nothing left to explore in their respective partners, boredom sets in and the marriage stagnates. Another pervasive marital problem is a loss of intimacy between the couple.

This may happen at anytime during the marriage but more so with the arrival of babies. Suddenly, the calm, orderly cosmos of childlessness is replaced by the chaotic world of milk bottles, soiled nappies, incessant crying, and sleeplessness. Romantic date nights become increasingly sparse; spontaneous intimacy becomes a thing of the past. Rearing childrena demanding, full time job in itselfcoupled with the grind of everyday mundane life robs a couple of intimate moments needed to keep the romance alive. Married life becomes routine and stale. Financial worries can also blight a marriage. When a couple has difficulty meeting their financial obligations, they tend to be more argumentative towards each other.

Constant bickering strains a relationship, making it more vulnerable to otherwise minor conjugal issues. These common marital problemsboredom with ones spouse, loss of intimacy and financial worriesare resolvable; left unchecked, however, they could lead to the ultimate deal breaker, namely, infidelity. Marital infidelity may be sexual or emotional. While the former carries the risk of discovery, the latter can remain undetected for a long period of time. But whatever form it takes, marital infidelity is one of the most devastating blows from which most marriages do not recover. As can be seen from above, the breakdown of a marriage does not happen overnight.

It is the result of several seemingly harmless marital problems that eat away at the foundations of the union. Marriage is hard work and the sooner couples accept this fact, the better their chances are at resolving marital problems and keeping their marriage intact. And maybe, just maybe, their fairytale weddings would end happily ever after--as fairytales should.

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