Friday, March 23, 2012

Marriage is called an institution for a reason. It requires concerted efforts and maintenance to ensure that daily frictions with your partner and with life do not develop into marital problems that bring your marriage to its knees or its abrupt end.

1. Getting married is the start of a journey. I know you thought that you had gotten them and that the work was all done but the truth is that one phase of your journey is done and the next phase has just started. Just like you put effort and consideration in courting your partner you need to keep expending similar effort and consideration to keep your partner happy in marriage. What did you do to get your partner? How did you treat them during courtship? How was your grooming and hygiene during courtship? Resist the temptation to relax and stop doing these same things. If they loved these deeds during courtship why do you think that they will not appreciate them now? Marriage is not a free pass to ignoring your partner and their feelings!

2. I am in this marriage for keeps. I know that almost half of marriages end in divorce but you must decide that, that is not an option for you. Decide today that divorce will not be part of your reality. Once you have done this then your priority will be to treat your partner well since you are 'stuck' with them. You will not pour fuel into the fire when you are in marital crisis since you know that the fire will have to be put out. You will tend to look at marital problems as obstacles that must be solved or removed as opposed to things that you should run away from. This also helps you focus your energy into making your marriage as great as it can be since you are in it for the long haul.

3. This is the person I am meant to be with. Once you are married your eyes will 'be open' and you will begin to notice some really nice and attractive people that seem better suited to you then your partner. Decide today that your partner is the person that you were meant to be with. If you notice attractive people appreciate them and move on as they are not meant for you. This will be particularly hard when your partner is being ugly in speech and deed but for you to minimize marital problems you must make this decision. This will help you seal off the option of looking for a replacement for your partner without doing all that you can into your marriage.

Once you have made these 3 decisions and have made them part of your reality then your attitude will be that of dealing with problems as they come. You will also expend creative energy to keeping you and your partner as healthy and happy as possible.

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