Thursday, March 8, 2012

Relationship Break Up Advice - Go For Counseling!

Counseling is often suggested for couples who are on the verge of divorce. It is a last ditch effort to save the marriage. While getting help is usually a good idea, relationship break up advice does not end there. You can try counseling earlier, when problems first begin to rear their ugly head.

Dealing with issues when they are small may be easier. The problems are more manageable. Getting help prevents them from growing and multiplying, and allowing anger and resentment to build up. It might even prevent a future separation.

By the same token, counseling can be a good idea, even if you have already broken up with your mate. Perhaps you still love your ex. Or you think your problems can be worked out, with a little effort from both of you. This is a great idea, and certainly worth the attempt. Do not be too quick to toss your relationship into the trash can. Almost every situation can be saved, if you really want to save it.

Younger couples seem more willing to go for something new and different, and give counseling a try. Spouses in long term marriages may be more resistant to the idea, maybe because it was not usually done when they were younger. As a result, some long-running marriages of 30 years or more, end in divorce. This is really too bad.

These marriages might have been saved, with proper relationship break up advice and professional help. If you are in this group, do not walk away from your marriage without considering counseling. If children or grandchildren are involved, consider it very carefully indeed, for their sake, if not your own.

It should be obvious that if you do go for counseling, your partner should go with you. But be careful how you approach this idea. Ask him/her to go with you in such a way that you are not accusing them of being the source of your problems. If you make it sound like your mate is the one who needs help, he will be reluctant to go with you, even (or especially) if this is in fact, true. If he does go, it will be with a defensive and irritated attitude, which will not help matters.

Instead, turn the thing around. Say you want advice and help for yourself, because you have issues you need to work on. You want to learn how to contribute more to the relationship, and how to be a better spouse. Do not accuse your mate or ex of needing counseling.

Once you are in the hands of a good marriage counselor, you will both learn how to be a better partner within the relationship. So it really does not matter much right now, whose fault it is. Avoid putting blame on your partner. It will accomplish little except to make you feel better, and is often counterproductive.

Sometimes when one partner suggests counseling, the other instantly assumes that this means the relationship is doomed. Or that there is no hope to get back together if you have already separated. This is absolutely not true. On the contrary, it means that the spark is still there. You just want to make some changes and adjustments to keep both of you happy. Think of this relationship break up advice as a tune-up for your partnership.

Finally, if your mate or ex refuses to go, what to do? Go yourself. Work on improving yourself. Be optimistic, and come back after each session with a big smile pasted onto the middle of your face. When your spouse or ex sees how helpful, positive and enriching the experience is, he or she might decide to give it a try!

©Jake Rancen is a long time Web author, who has dated many women. If you have recently broken up with your lover or your relationship is in trouble, do not despair. I have some more excellent relationship break up advice for you. It is a great video that shows you the first step to take now, whether you go for counseling, or not.

Thousands of people have watched this video, and put the pieces of their lives back together. You can quickly regain that happiness and joy you once knew. That is your goal, isn't it? Click the link to watch the video: http://www-FixingBreakups.com

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As a general rule, breaking up with someone is hard on both people. How To Get My Ex Back

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